by the light of fireflies and snow [ficlet, Hikaro no Go, Yashiro]

[fromastudio]

by the light of fireflies and snow
wordcount: about 400
characters: Yashiro
Notes: Basically just a quick character-sketch of Yashiro, written for round 1 of hng_deathmatch. The fic title comes from the story of Cheyin and Sunkang, although readers will note that I rapidly digressed from the theme at hand.




by the light of fireflies and snow



Except for the rough musical dialect of children tumbling through the neighbourhood playground, your home in Kansai could be many places in Japan. The street is suburban, visually pleasing in that familiar, proper way: every car washed, every dog advertised with a restrained BEWARE OF- sign beside the relevant front gate. The families in residence all comprise the correct number and gender of adults and children.

Your parents drive to work. Every morning your father puts on a crisp pressed shirt and one of his five ties (they are all restrained in colour and pattern); your mother in turn wears a thin, woollen cardigan and black leather flats. They eat breakfast fully dressed; you, on the other hand, shove spoonfuls sugared cereal into your mouth while in your pyjamas, unshowered and bleary-eyed.

It's two parts subtle defiance, three parts simply you being you. You are not like your parents, but like most teenagers you try harder than is necessary to be unlike them.

By most measures your home in Kansai is pleasant and privileged. Surprisingly your parents do not mind your late-morning waking; they tolerate with shocking benevolence both your white hair and your tendency to disappear for long hours at a time; they bought you your Xbox no questions asked. Adolescents must be adolescents, is the implication; be a teenager as much as you like. But grow up to be a proper adult.

~~~

Most children, eventually, break their parents' hearts.

~~~

You like rules because rules create possibilities. There are 361 places on a goban; place one stone and the choices go down to 360. Add a constraint - I wish to win, and the pathways are narrower still. Begin at tengen and there are a million ways to win, but there are not an infinite number of ways.

Igo is a cage; igo is an abstract palisade, a mathematical prison; igo is the resistance you have always needed to strive against, to be yourself.

~~~

What your parents do not understand: the child is father of the man. What we love as boys we love forever.

~~~

If you envy Touya Akira and Shindou Hikaru, it is not for their talent or friendship but rather their lack of options (isn't that a form of talent in itself, or possibly genius, Isumi suggests). How it's so bloody simple for them. Their narrowness of ambition, their startling lack of imagination, that unidirectional unthinking laser-like focus (the board, the black and white, today and tomorrow and next week and next year and--)

(“You want to play a game for a living,” said your father.)

(“People do. I get paid.”)

(and okay sometimes you envy Shindou's talent as well.)

But what you envy most, you also envy least. You do not wish for obstacles -- you thrive on them.

You need them.

(and the breaking of hearts is inevitable. Some people call it growing up.)



fin.



















Also, as a kind of anti-bonus, the poem that I was working on for Round 2. I think we can all see at a glance why I chose to default rather than submit this in its current form! With regards and thanks to blue_cage for helping me hash out some of the worst lines. XD





I

You cannot hear me. You
do not need to hear me.



II


chronologically
a sketchbook of memories:
the cold riverbank mud;
cherry petals in his wine cup;
blood on the kaya grid;
also history classes --
your dozing uncaring head,
its bright unnatural hair
oh, you are too loud for sketches!


III

Five things I believe in:
you,
summer and winter,
the existence of the soul,
and go --
yes why not believe in go
do you not know games are immortal?



IV

Dream like this:
the body that passed was wet and swollen
osmosis made it turgid
fishes nibbled its subcutaneous shallows
it flowed down to the delta and sea and sank
never to touch another stone

There are so few pleasures in being dead!
things one misses:
sex
the texture of rice and salt
the varieties and degrees of pain.
To hurt is to be alive.



V

Alive as you are and will not be.
You will never hear me again.



VI

The folds of the fan are creased;
This is the hand that I will answer.

Comments

[geekydictator.livejournal.com]

Question: why is it tagged as bad lynn poetry when it should be awesome lynn poetry? Tsk, you. Also, I really, really, really love your Yashiro, and the way you make 2nd person narrative work. Great work.

[fromastudio]

ahahaha because it is not particularly awesome! *considers* Also I keep breaking into 2nd person for Hikago, I'm just not sure why.

I heart you so much, have I told you lately? *hugs*

[geekydictator.livejournal.com]

=^-^= Same here! And I really like 2nd person as a form, but I... don't know how to deal with it, to be honest. Though it's still easier to write than 1st person for some reason.

[qem_chibati]

I really like the Yashiro piece.

[fromastudio]

Thank you! It was rather fun to write.

[stillskies.livejournal.com]

It's so nice to see other people writing Yashiro (and Yeong-ha) well. Because I clearly need fic to read other than Maaya's. lol

Very, very good piece. ♥

Any hopes for more Yashiro from you? ^_^

[fromastudio]

Thanks! ♥ And uh, I suppose I'd have to go reread the Hokuto Cup canon in order to write Yashiro (and Yeong-ha) again, really. Yeong-ha is a high possibility because he owns my soul, and also because he is a really good foil for Shindou (and I am a Hikaru girl really), but somehow Yashiro always seems like he'd be better played off against Touya. Or maybe Waya. Both of whom I'm fond of anyway. Hmmm. Let me contemplate this.

[stillskies.livejournal.com]

Yes, but you see, the complete and utter crack that is Yeong-Ha/Yashiro rules my soul. well, saeki/ashiwara rule my soul, because omg cute and canon lol

So, you should go reread. And then write. Because there is nothing better than Yashiro. except maybe Saeki and Ashiwara ♥

[fromastudio]

Sacrilege! Waya is clearly the best thing about Hikago from first to last. *_* (well, aside from Obata's art. and Hotta's plot.) I'll definitely make concessions to Yeong-ha's, um, good points, though. And I will think about the virtues of Yeong-ha and Yashiro in tandem. definitely. XD

[stillskies.livejournal.com]

is still amazed that there are people maaya and I haven't converted. yet. Please do. ♥

I'm... iffy on Waya. I like him, and I don't mind him around, I just don't... like fic centered on him? Except when he's dating (or trying to date) Morishita's daughter. Because that's just epic. ^_^

Randomly, your hxh icon was fantastic. <3 God. Why isn't there more good fic for that series?

[fromastudio]

I DON'T KNOW I AM STILL DESPERATELY THINKING ABOUT A FOLLOW-UP ROUND OF trail_hunter, except that I'm terrified that no one would sign-up. Besides which I've already headhunted my entire friends list for drive_a so I can't nag anyone over trail_hunter anymore. T_T

Erm, you wouldn't happen to know any lovely people who will write for HxH who are not at all in PoT fandom?

[stillskies.livejournal.com]

Oh god. HxH people not in PoT? I... don't know.

I think I only have two people on my f!list who are even into HxH, and only one of them writes, but she's been MIA for a while.....

I'd sign up? It's really the only excuse I have to write fic for the series...

[hkfoot.livejournal.com]

Love the Yashiro piece! The 2nd person voice is well executed, and the snapshot of his home and parents, and their expectations, is oh-so-painfully clear. *hearts*

I like part II of the poem best, I think. I don't know how I feel about part IV. The image of fish nibbling on the water-bloated body is shocking. But also pleasing in a weird way. It's quite a contrast with the rest of the images in the piece. *mixed feelings* But still, good job! (Sorry, I'm in a critiquing mood for some reason. I hope you don't mind?)

[fromastudio]

Thanks very much! It honestly was really very fun to write.

oh, any suggestions are welcome - the poem is very much in need of critique! I like the contrast with the rest of the images but am not sure whether I've deployed it in the right place. I think the poem either needs to be much longer or a little bit more focused - at the moment I like the individual bits but they really aren't cohesive as a whole.

[hkfoot.livejournal.com]

I'm really not one to critique poetry, but I agree, it could use more focus or be much longer. ...But speaking of longer, all this is making me think that Sai deserves an epic poem. He doesn't have one of those yet, does he? XD Or maybe the Hand of God deserves an epic poem.

[troisroyaumes]

Already left feedback on the Yashiro piece (which I loved, just for reiteration). ^^ The meta aspect to your Hikago fanfic really appeals to me, as always; this reminds me a bit of the Honda fic you wrote for me a while back. XD

I rather like the unfinished poem too! Part IV is especially vivid, and I also appreciate the way part I plays with/against canon.

[fromastudio]

-_- the meta aspect of my Hikago fic really worries me, as always; but I suspect it's because I'm still trying to hammer out the characters in my head and I've always been the sort of writer who needs to work out characters to my satisfaction before being able to do things with them.

the poem I've already expunged my feelings upon at great length. *wry* maybe I'll be able to fix it, but if not, well, I am not a very good poet anyway! XD

[flonnebonne]

I really loved your Yashiro fic when I saw it in death_match. :) Especially the idea that restrictions are actually freeing. Very Yashiro!

The one thing I found odd was the "unshowered" comment, since I don't think most Japanese people shower in the morning (they bathe/shower in the evening). But I don't know much about Kansai, so who knows.

I don't understand why you defaulted on round 2, boo. I like your poem.

I'd be interested in another round of trail_hunter btw.

[fromastudio]

Ah, really? *ruefully* As you can see, my expertise on Japanese daily life is pretty much...anti-expertise. -_-

The poem's really a bit unfocused at the moment! There are lots of lines in there that I like, but it's just rather messy.

*perks up* You'd write for trail_hunter? *considers* Okay, if bedtimepuri is in August, blind_go is in September, and drive_a fics are due in November....

Let's say sign-ups starting this week, lasting for one month, with fics due end of September, and posting in the first half of October? (trail_hunter tends to attract shorter fics anyway so fitting it around BG and drive_a shouldn't be an issue. I know I can generally just sit down for thirty minutes and churn out 700 words of Killua angst on the spot anyway. I mean, I'm not sure there would be a /huge/ number of submissions, but given that I think there have been three fics on the hunterxhunter community in the last six months, and two of them were probably mine - I'd take ten fics over nothing.

[flonnebonne]

Lololol you should always take what I say about Japanese daily life with a grain of salt, since my actual experience with Japan was mostly limited to one area in the countryside.

0_o Being able to churn out 700 words of Killua angst in thirty minutes is a rather unique skill. I'll do my best to turn something in, at any rate. And I do like getting the chance to read more HxH.

[fromastudio]

/wry/ It only works for Killua and Kirihara! but it is certainly useful in the cases of things like trail_hunter!

I kind of want to reread HxH as well! :D :D :D